Maaf,

Maaf, aku menghapusmu dari daftar kontak di hapeku.
seluruhnya. History chat, sms yang terakhir kau kirim, nomer-nomermu yang lama.

bukankah aku tak seharusnya mengenalmu?
bukankah aku tak jatuh hati padamu?
bukankah aku lebih baik menjalani hidupmu tanpamu, seutuhnya?

terlambat.

aku mengenal sebagian dirimu yang kau ceritakan padaku.
aku jatuh hati.
dan aku tak sanggup menjalani hidup tanpamu.

sore tadi, sms terakhirmu, aku membacanya.
lalu ku hapus.

maaf. aku tak tahu kalimat apa yang akan ku kirim padamu.
bisa jadi hanya satu kata yang mungkin ku kirimkan, "kangen".

tahu diri.
dimana tempatku di hatimu? tak ada.

sudah jelas.

terimakasih sudah memberi kabar. hati hati di perjalananmu.

beradadisini : Kita

Mungkin kita memang sedang tidak hendak beranjak ke mana-mana.
Kita hanya sedang duduk-duduk di sini, menikmati waktu yang pelan-pelan menyelinap lewat kata-kata yang bermain di tepian jemari. Kita tidak sedang terburu-buru. Kita tidak sedang terlambat. Kita tidak sedang mengejar waktu. Tidak sedang bergegas menuju ke suatu tempat. Sesekali salah satu dari kita akan beranjak pergi. Yang lain tidak akan mempertanyakan, tidak akan mencegah, tidak akan mengejar. Cukup satu kedipan dan lambaian tangan, serta pesan: hati-hati di jalan.
Tak ada janji yang diucapkan. Ia yang pergi tak pernah berkata bahwa ia akan kembali. Ia yang tinggal tak pernah berkata bahwa ia akan menunggu hingga yang pergi kembali. Ini bukan tentang rasa percaya. Ini semacam rasa pasrah. Bahwa semua yang memang untukmu, pada akhirnya akan kembali padamu. Dan semua yang bukan untukmu tak akan menjadi milikmu, tak peduli sekuat apapun kamu mencoba.
Mungkin kita memang hanya saling menemukan, meski tak pernah saling kehilangan. Kita adalah dua orang yang kebetulan tengah duduk bersisian: lalu berbagi matahari, laut, langit, kapuk yang beterbangan, cahaya, ilalang, bebatuan, jejak bintang…
Aku akan sesekali pergi. Kamu akan sesekali pergi. Suatu hari nanti, kita mungkin akan pulang. Entah ke mana. Mungkin ke tempat ini lagi. Atau ke tempat lain. Mungkin aku kembali. Mungkin kamu kembali. Mungkin juga tidak. Tetapi semua itu bukan masalah. Karena saat ini kita memang sedang tidak hendak beranjak ke mana-mana.

Love you always,
Hani :)

Langit kepada Bulan

Tiba-tiba kamu kembali, bukan untuk pulang, hanya sekedar menyampaikan keperluanmu.

Kamu datang pas butuh doang, terus ngilang gitu aja. :p

Rasanya semua usahaku melupakanmu sia-sia, karena kamu datang-pergi sesuka hatimu.
Padahal hatiku berharap kamu tinggal, sejenak, mungkin sehari.


Mungkin lagu ini cocok menemaniku malam ini,

Kau bukanlah untukku
Meski ku tahu ku menyayangimu
Cinta tak mungkin terjadi
Diantara kita berdua
Dirimu kini telah bersamanya
Begitu pula aku telah memilikinya

Reff:
Kini ku sadari rasa ini tak mungkin
Dapat terwujud dalam kisah kasih kita
Kini ku mengerti tulus cinta ini
Hanyalah mimpi panjang yang tak pernah usai
Karena tuk bersamamu bagaikan berharap memeluk bulan

Dirimu kini telah bersamanya
Begitu pula aku telah memilikinya

Kini ku sadari rasa ini tak mungkin
Dapat terwujud dalam kisah kasih kita
Kini ku mengerti tulus cinta ini
Hanyalah mimpi panjang yang tak pernah usai

Repeat reff

Karena tuk bersamamu bagaikan berharap memetik bintang

Rossa - Memeluk Bulan
Gimana kalo meluk kamu aja? kangen banget cin :)

Kepada Langit yang tak lagi Biru

Apa yang terjadi dengan harimu?
hampir sepekan aku melihatmu abu-abu,
seolah tak pernah ada biru disana

sudah cukup aku melihatmu abu-abu
kembalilah menjadi biru
biru yang ku rindu


*Hujan abu melanda jogja akibat erupsi gunung kelud di jawa timur.
Semoga peristiwa ini menyatukan kita untuk menjadi lebih baik dan mencintai bumi yang kita jejak.

Bulan Merah Jambu

Kepada lelaki yang malam ini memandangi bulan,
entah di belahan bumi mana. unlocated.


Tak perlu basa basi, aku hanya ingin bilang, aku masih marah sama kamu.
Kamu yang tak ada kabar lalu membatalkan janji bertemu. Tanpa kata maaf sepatahpun.
Sibuk katamu.

Aku bermimpi, kalau saja aku lebih penting dari segala kesibukanmu, tapi siapalah aku.

Mungkin sahabatku sudah bosan dengan semua curhatku yang semuanya tentang kamu.
Dia bilang, "tak usah menyalahkan siapapun, perasaan itu bukan kita yang ciptakan, tapi itu hadiah Tuhan buatmu."
Perasaan ini, yang memaksaku untuk mengajakmu bertemu. hehehe.
yang sebelumnya ku sangkal, aku hanya bersimpati padamu. tidak lebih. siapa tahu dengan bertemu denganmu aku bisa yakin dengan apa yang kurasakan.

Terlanjur ku terbangkan tinggi-tinggi harapanku, aku pasti bertemu kamu sebelum bulan ini berakhir, bulan lalu. Kuyakinkan diriku setiap malam, meskipun tak ada kabar darimu hingga berbilang dua puluhan hari bulan itu.

Manusia berencana, tapi Tuhan (dan kamu) yang tentukan.

Masih kusimpan history chatmu terakhir itu, bahwa kamu terlalu sibuk bahkan sekedar meluangkan setengah hari untukku pun tak bisa. Aku sangat marah, tapi aku bisa apa, aku bukan siapa siapa.

Harapan yang terlanjur kuterbangkan tinggi-tinggi, terhempas begitu saja. sakit sekali rasanya. aku menghilang hampir seminggu, kurayakan hari ulang tahunku di akhir bulan dengan luka. Awal tahun yang menyakitkan.

Hingga hari ini aku masih mengunci diriku, membiarkan luka itu menghancurkanku. Biar saja, sampai aku gila pun tak apa.

Aku yang terlanjur percaya padamu, bahwa kamu berbeda, kamu laki-laki yang selalu menepati janji, ternyata bullshit!!

Kamu hilang. tak pernah muncul lagi di chatku, tak ada lagi telepon tengah malam. terkadang aku terjaga hingga pagi, berharap kamu muncul.

ini sudah terlalu lama, aku muak, lelah dengan perasaanku sendiri. Kalau katamu biar Waktu yang menentukan, jika memang waktunya bertemu pasti bertemu. Ya sudah.

malam ini, aku menulis surat buat kamu,
kangen. cuma kangen doang sama cerita dan pikiran-pikiran gilamu.

merapal kangen. k-a-n-g-e-n.
di sela hujan yang perlahan menetes, di mataku.



Love you always,
Hani. ^^,

Pilih mana pintu yang kamu sukai

Pick the door that looks the most appealing to you. This might reveal a few things about your personality. Let us know what door you picked and if the answer was accurate for you. Feel free to SHARE!






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1 - You are a fun individual that likes to keep things light and airy. You are all about nurturing others and appreciating the simple luxuries in life; such as your fine dishware, favorite candle or eating artisan bread from the local bakery. You most likely have a love for traveling and other cultures. You truly want the best for everyone and love creating a welcoming atmosphere. It is important to remember that if you ever feel that you need help or support, it is OK to just ask someone.

2- You are clean and simple and don’t like any frills. You might strive to have a clean and perfect existence; but is it totally worth it? Don’t you feel that there is something missing? You are all about your personal achievements and you take pride in your work or career. Although you might be on track with your career path or have a few diplomas/ certificates on your wall, you need to spend more time on developing yourself as a person. Remember... the real you. Life is all about creating balance, surrounding yourself with color and creating memorable adventures. If you are finding that you have been taking the safe road lately, try veering off the beaten path. You might surprise yourself!

3 – It is obvious you are a quirky individual and very interesting to the people that you let into your life. You are good at many things... a “Jack or Jill of all trades”. You are an artistic individual that expresses yourself in many ways. You can make something out of anything and are not a stranger to your local thrift shop. You can basically make vintage “new” again. It is easy to get stuck inside the house or inside your urban bubble; but remember that you have to get out and connect with nature. It is time to come down out of the clouds and get grounded!

4 – You are an old soul that can be slightly dramatic. You are a very artistic person that loves to express yourself through writing, music, art or some kind of expression. You are a dichotomy; for you can be very open and friendly, yet closed and deeply private. You often have your guard up, keeping your thoughts and troubles to yourself. Although you might think that nobody will truly understand you, if you allow yourself to open up and share your feelings, you will feel so much better. Deep down you are not aright with any imperfections and you feel the need to come across as “the rock” in any group situation. Know that people are willing to share their feelings with you and want you to share your feelings with them.

5 – It is very important for you to fit in and feel as though you are a major contributor in every situation. You always have things going on, for being productive is what makes you feel at ease. Your busy-ness can sometimes cause the need for you to become more aware of what is really going on around you. What does your body want you to be doing? It is alright to relax on a Monday and simply just BE. Feel free to take some time to figure out what you really love to do. Possibly try some new hobbies or activities that are out of your normal routine. Explore being you, even if that means relaxing. Life is not just about how many muffins you can make in a single batch or how many fit-it jobs you can do in one day.

6 – You are a confident person with an eye for detail. You can come across as someone who is all together and exciting; yet you are just YOU on the inside. You care about your appearance and how the world sees you, yet the inside your home or car is probably a total mess! Your personality can be self destructive, for you could turn against yourself when the going gets tough. The life of a person who is a living a total contradiction... has got to be a difficult one. Remember to breathe and just relax. Life is not just about pleasing others. Truth is, the world isn’t always watching... Take time to reflect on who you truly want to be? What is it that you truly want to do?

7 – You are a simple minimalist that always has important things to do. You care for others and find your time anything but your own. You surround yourself with meaningful things, for you are very sentimental. Family and friends are very important to you and you would do anything for them. Not putting yourself first has made your life a safe and complacent one. What is it that can enrich your life today? What will make your life more colorful and enjoyable? Even though life gives you labels such as a mother, father, wife, husband, teacher, manager, etc; remember that your life is still YOUR life. Take a moment to decide what you want your future to look like. It is perfectly acceptable to want wonderful things to happen to you. Carpe Diem.

8 – Your fun and playful personality keeps you young and youthful. Although you are easy going, you tend to have lower self-confidence and anxiety about specific things in your life. You are usually unorganized; yet don’t even know where to start to help yourself to fix the messy problem. You are a proud individual but you need to learn to love yourself more. You need to take the time to find yourself through self expression. How are you currently expressing yourself to the world? Remember that there are people around you that can help you, but you need to let them know you are willing to receive help. Life is easier when you let people in.

9 – You are a quirky person that is always making things work. You are an amazing problem solver that prides yourself on your thrifty living. You like to live an uncomplicated life and usually get by with the basics. Why would you need anything else? You are very easy to please and love doing things for others. Whether it be fixing your neighbors toilet, building a bird house for your mother out of reclaimed wood or helping your friend find a great living room set at the thrift shop; you are always there to lend a hand. Remember that life is special. It is OK to treat yourself to amazing things. You are special too!

10 – You are one who truly appreciates stability and wholeness. You are a reliable person that takes pride in their love of quality and detail. Some might say “cookie cutter”, but you say dependable! You always know what you are getting because you have checked the consumer reports. You love safety and security in all parts of your life. You prefer not to have anything frivolous or extra, if you can’t see the use for it. Chances are you have some sort of creative side that you have curbed in some way. You might love scrap-booking, music or art; yet would never try to make it your career. You feel your problems are your own and nobody needs to be burdened with them. Just keep in mind that exposing your true self to the world (or your neighbors) is not a crime. We are all human.

SOURCE : pick the doors