Big Pink Winner

Aku tersadar untuk segera keluar dari zona nyaman suatu pagi ketika baju yang kupakai terlalu sesak.

***

Narrator: Welcome to Bikini Bottom. Welcome where we found the finest specimens of undersea life. Aha. Well, here not. [Patrick is sleeping and when he wakes up there is a box in his mouth]

Patrick: An award? I never got an award before! Eeeee! Look rock, I got an award. [arrow on top of rock breaks] Jellyfish, I got an award. [jellyfish zap him and he jumps up above the surface] Island, I got an awar... [chokes for air and floats back down] I gotta show SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: [building a house of cards looking like Gary] Hold still, Gary.

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: Almost done. [Patrick smashes through the wall and cards fall on the floor]

Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, guess what? I got an award.

SpongeBob: That's great, Patrick. What's it for?

Patrick: See for yourself.

SpongeBob: [his body is facedown but his face come out and reads the award] "For Outstanding Achievement In Achievement: SpongeBob SquarePants?"

Patrick: SpongeBob SquarePants? That's a funny way to spell my name.

SpongeBob: Patrick, I think the award is for me. You must have got it by mistake.

Patrick: But, it's shiny.

SpongeBob: Yeah, but you know what else is shiny?

Patrick: Ice Cream!

SpongeBob: Exactly!

Patrick: I can find it. Is it in here?

SpongeBob: No, don't. That's my... [a bunch of awards pile out of SpongeBob's closet] ...award closet.

Patrick: I want an award. [starts to cry]

SpongeBob: [Spongebob with 2 1st place ribbons in his eyes] Aww, Patrick, don't cry.

SpongeBob: You'll get an award one day.

Patrick: I'm never gonna get an award because I haven't done anything.

SpongeBob: But you're Patrick... [his eyes turn into stars] Star. You can do anything you want.

Patrick: That's east for you to say. You're SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Patrick, if you wanna win an award, you have to do something.

Patrick: Hmmm...I wanna defeat the giant monkeyman and save the 9th dimension!

SpongeBob: Me too! But that sounds a little hard. Why don't we start smaller?

Patrick: I wanna defeat the little monkeyman and save the 8th dimension!

SpongeBob: Smaller. [shrinks]

Patrick: Doctor?

SpongeBob: Smaller. [shrinks more]

Patrick: Fireman?

SpongeBob: [said in the tiny voice] The smallest you can think of. [shrinks even more]

Patrick: A job at the Krusty Krab?

SpongeBob: [normal voice] Yeah!! I do things at work all the time.

Patrick: Then let's go.

Patrick: Boy, it sure was nice of Mr Krabs to give me a job.

SpongeBob: And at 50 dollars an hour, too. When I started working here, I had to pay Mr Krabs 100 dollars an hour. Hey, Squidward, guess who just got a job?

Squidward: Guess who just quit? [puts his hat on Patrick's head]

Patrick: Do I get my award yet?

SpongeBob: You have to work for it, remember?

Patrick: Tartar sauce. [SpongeBob flipping patties]

SpongeBob: Pick up order! [Patrick comes and eats the order]

Patrick: Do I get my award, now?

SpongeBob: No, you have to take the tray to the customer.

Patrick: Ok. [tray gets to table but with no food. Patrick burps]

SpongeBob: Almost. Try again and this time make sure the food gets to the table. [Patrick arrives with food on tray but then eats it as he sits down]

Patrick: Like that?

SpongeBob: Nope.

Patrick: [spits out food at the customer as he talks] Barnacles!

SpongeBob: Let's try something different.

SpongeBob: All you have to do is answer the phone.

Patrick: Ok, SpongeBob. [phone rings]

Guy On Phone: Is this the Krusty Krab?

Patrick: No, this is Patrick. [hangs up and starts whistling. phone rings again]

Girl On Phone: Is this the Krusty Krab?

Patrick: [annoyed] No! this is Patrick! [hangs up and continues to whistle. phone rings, yet again]

Guy On Phone: Is this the Krusty Krab?

Patrick: [irritated] NO!!! THIS IS PATRICK!!! [puts phone down] I'm not a Krusty Krab.

SpongeBob: Uhh, Patrick, that's the name of the restaurant.

Patrick: Huh? Oh, Fishpaste!

SpongeBob: It looks a little dusty around table 3. How about you sweep it out? [hands Patrick a broom]

Patrick: What's the point? I can't do anything right.

SpongeBob: You'll do fine. [Patrick sweeps with the top instead of the bottom]

Customer: Hey pal. You just blow in from Stupidtown?

SpongeBob: Keep trying, Patrick.

Delivery Guy: I've got a load of awards for SpongeBob SquarePants. [Patrick gets mad and sweeps harder]

Patrick: Why can't I do anything right? [bangs the bottom of the broom on the floor making dust rise all over the Krusty Krab's dining area, which makes the nearby customers start coughing]

SpongeBob: [pushing Patrick] Kitchen!

Patrick: I'm never going to get an award, now.

SpongeBob: Don't give up, Patrick. This time I've got something I know you can do. We're gonna open a jar. [gets a jar and opens the lid] Easy. Now you try. First get a jar. [Patrick gets out a pickle] Patrick, that's a pickle.

Patrick: Yes.

SpongeBob: You need a jar. [picks a spatula] No. [picks his pants] No. [picks up SpongeBob] No. Try...this! [gives Patrick a jar] Now take the lid off the jar. [puts the lid in his mouth] Just relax. Lift your hand. Great! We're almost there. Now put it on the lid. [puts hand on counter] No the lid. [Patrick tries for the lid over and over as SpongeBob keeps telling him "the lid". Few seconds later, Patrick is almost there] Freeze!! [hand is on the side of the jar] Almost there. Now head for the lid. [hand goes lower] Cold. [hand goes higher] Warmer. [hand goes higher] Warmer. [hand goes higher] Warmer. You're hot. You're on fire!!

Patrick: Ow, it burns!

SpongeBob: Ok, ok. Wait, wait. Do exactly as I do. [takes it off again] Exactly as I do. [takes it off again] Exactly. Exactly. Exactly.

Patrick: Exactly as you do. [takes lid off jar] Oh, no, I broke it!

SpongeBob: No, no, Patrick, you did it!

Patrick: I did? [both cheer as Patrick throws the jar into the floor] Touchdown!

SpongeBob: That was great, Patrick! You really got the hang of it.

Patrick: Yeah. Remember when I had my up? And I put it on the lid?

SpongeBob: Oh, yeah.

Patrick: Then I took the lid off and I thought I broke it.

SpongeBob: [laughs] Yeah.

Patrick: But I didn't. I opened the jar with my hand. And it was all because you showed me how to do it. I'm never gonna forget this.

SpongeBob: Patrick, you do exactly what I do and you'll have an award in no time. [night becomes day in SpongeBob's House then clam crows everyone up] I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. [notices Patrick dressed up like him]

Patrick: Good morning, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Wow. It's amazing how a simple change of clothes can make a guy look...just...like...me.

Patrick: Yup. If I'm gonna be an award winner, I've gotta dress like one.

SpongeBob: That's creepy...but flattering! I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready... [Patrick copies SpongeBob then SpongeBob stops]

SpongeBob: Well, back to the ol' grind.

Patrick: Well, back to the ol' grind.

SpongeBob: Forget my hat.

Patrick: Uhh, me, too.

SpongeBob: [SpongeBob mops the floor then puts the mop up. Patrick mops the floor but makes it slippery. SpongeBob comes out with a handful of plates and slips and breaks them all. Patrick follows in SpongeBob's footsteps]

SpongeBob & Patrick: Whew! [drops his spatula]

SpongeBob: [laughs] Dropped my spatula. [bends down to pick it up]

Patrick: Uhh, me, too. [drops spatula then picks it up. Spongebob picks up his hat Patrick does it too. both put their hats back on. Both putting their hands on the grill. Patrick's hand burns after a few seconds] OWWWWWWW!!!

SpongeBob: Aha! [shows the fake hand] You're copying me!

Patrick: Yes.

SpongeBob: Why are you doing that?

Patrick: So I can get an award like you.

SpongeBob: Well, it's annoying, so stop it!

Patrick: Stop it. [both imitate the others facial expressions]

SpongeBob: Say, you're good.

Patrick: Thanks.

SpongeBob & Patrick: Ha! Darn. Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white as...pickled fish lips!! [both cover their mouth] Sea weavle. Gorgy smorgy.

SpongeBob: [voice over] At least I'm safe inside my mind.

Patrick: [voice over] At least I'm safe inside my mind.

SpongeBob & Patrick: Ahh!

SpongeBob: Stop copying me!

Patrick: There's no award for that.

Squidward: [leaning against a pole and reading] Well, I guess it's safe to go in, now. [puts hat back on and walks in]

SpongeBob: Patrick, how long are you going to keep this up?

Patrick: Until I have as many awards as you.

SpongeBob: We'll see about that!

Patrick: No, we won't.

SpongeBob: [takes out a jump-rope] I'm the jump-rope champion of Bikini Bottom.

Patrick: Me, too. [takes out a jump-rope]

SpongeBob: Oh, yeah? I call this one: The Slice N' Dice. [crosses arms and jump-ropes while Patrick tries to imitate but ties himself up with his rope] Ha! Not a scratch on me. [body breaks down into pieces]
 
Patrick: Oh, no you don't! [squeezes the rope on himself breaking his body down into smaller pieces. Then both hit a hammer on their heads]

SpongeBob: Not much fun being me, now, huh Patrick?

Patrick: Are you kidding? I used to do this way before I started copying you. [Patrick hits himself too hard and stops and gets a headache. SpongeBob runs into Patrick's rock painted as a SpongeBob's house]

Patrick: My turn! [runs into the pineapple rock]

SpongeBob: [runs into his pineapple] I wish I had the old Patrick back, but he just want to be like me. [comes out of house dressed like Patrick] Hi, I'm Patrick Star. I'm the laziest, pinkest starfish in Bikini Bottom and I wish I were me and not SpongeBob.

Patrick: What's so great about being a Big Pink Loser? [SpongeBob's nose pokes out] Exactly. I was never closer to an award then the minute I started copying you.

SpongeBob: But, Patrick...

Patrick: Patrick's not here!

Delivery Guy: Trophy delivery! [shoves a trophy box in SpongeBob's mouth]

SpongeBob: Another trophy?

Patrick: Oh, great! What's it for this time?

SpongeBob: 'For Doing Absolutely Nothing Longer Than Anyone Else'.
Patrick! This trophy's for you!

Patrick: Yay! [puts trophy on head] Eee!

SpongeBob: So, what are you going to do, now?

Patrick: I'm gonna go protect my title. [jumps in his rock and falls asleep]  

Narrator: You thought I was kidding, did you? No, here in Bikini Bottom, success can even be found under a rock.

***

I want one thing, shiny thing, an award. I will.

Cheers,

Hani.

(credit : Big Pink Loser )

Laron dan Kota Seribu Cahaya

'Mama.. ada hewan terbang di deket lampu, apa itu Ma?' tanyanya sambil menunjuk lampu di ruang tengah yang dikelilingi ribuan hewan kecil beterbangan.
'Itu namanya laron sayang.. dia terbang buat mencari pasangan, kalo ketemu dia akan membangun koloni baru.. kalo gak dapet pasangan ya mati.' jawabku sambil memikirkan cara mengusir laron itu secepatnya.

***

Paragraf di atas cuma khayalan saja.

***

Musim penghujan terlambat datang di kota kami. Sudah hampir sebulan sumber air mengering. Air tiba-tiba menjadi barang langka nan mahal harganya. Daun-daun kembang favorit ibu mengering sebagian saking panasnya kota ini. Separuh daun di ujung mengering sedang pangkalnya masih hijau. Bukan tak sayang dengan kembang-kembang tersebut, namun sumur di rumah tak mampu memenuhi bak mandi seukuran 1x1 meter, mana cukup untuk menyiram puluhan pot kembang di depan rumah. Tak sampai tiga hari kemudian kembang itu layu dan mati.

Kali di samping rumah pun menyusut sedikit demi sedikit volume airnya. Hingga dasarnya terlihat. Kali bukan lagi mengalirkan air namun menampung daun bambu yang jatuh. Kalau saja dasar kali ini rata mungkin adik laki-lakiku dan teman sebayanya bisa bermain bola di kali yg mengering ini. 

Entah bagaimana nasib petani yang menanam padi dan membutuhkan banyak air untuk sawahnya. Saat melewati pematang sawah menuju rumah kakek, banyak lahan sawah yang dibiarkan begitu saja, tak punya air katanya. Beruntunglah petani yang memiliki sumur dan diesel sendiri, air tetap mengalir.

Musim kemarau cukup panjang tahun ini. Entah mengapa, ada yang bilang pemanasan gobal, lubang ozon berlubang, polusi karbondioksida. ah aku tak paham.

Sore ini muncul laron-laron kecil mengitari lampu di teras. Akhirnya musim penghujan yang ditunggu datang. Lalu apa hubungannya dengan laron bersayap tipis yang sebagian berjatuhan ke lantai itu?

Laron merupakan fase dewasa dari rayap yang hidup secara berkoloni. Rayap-rayap dewasa memiliki sayap untuk terbang dan mencari pasangan. Setelah bertemu dengan pasangannya mereka jatuh ke lantai dan mencari celah di sela tanah ataupun kayu yang busuk untuk membentuk koloni baru.

Luar biasa. Dari puluhan ribu laron hanya sebagian yang selamat dan melewati fase berikutnya. Sisanya yang kurang beruntung akan berakhir di penggorengan dan berubah wujud menjadi peyek laron. Peyek laron rasanya gurih seperti peyek udang, coba buktikan sendiri karena saya belum pernah sekalipun mencoba. Melihat laron yang jatuh tak berdaya ke lantai lalu nggeremet kemana saja sudah bikin saya geli. Untuk yang berniat menyicipi silahkan saja. 

Sungguh ajaib ribuan laron tadi menghilang dengan singkat, tak ada lagi beterbangan di sekitar lampu. Mungkin si laron sudah bertemu pasangan sejatinya dan sedang di mabuk kepayang. Sebentar lagi mungkin akan ada gundukan tanah baru ataupun kayu lapuk berisi ribuan rayap. Ratu dan anak-anak rayap mendapat asupan gizi dari jamur pada kayu yang dilapukkan oleh sang ratu rayap dan pekerjanya. Menakjubkan.

Rintik hujan mulai terdengar dari atap rumah, anakku tertidur lelap dengan dongeng tentang laron barusan. Selamat malam dan tidur yang nyenyak sayang :*

Kota seribu cahaya,

Hani.  

U-KISS - Someday

#Romanization: Ttaeron hit ttaeron miss geureon geoji mwo Naeireun an teullimyeon dwae gojak silsuil ppuninde

Ttaeron mit, ttaeron wi, ttaeron Number 1
Mwo ildeung hae bwatja naeryeogal gilbakke eobseul ppuninde

Eobseumyeon geunyang eomneundaero saneun geoji mwo
Gajigi jeonen mollatdeon yoksimdeuril ppuninde oh (o)

Jigeum neo himdeuldaneun geon got noryeokhaetdan jeunggeoil ppuniya
Everybody knows you tried Everybody knows it's alright

You get some right, you get some wrong
Jogeum himdeureodo utneun nari olkkeoya
When you fall down, when you get up
Jogeum himdeureodo utneun nari wa, gyeolguk utneun nari olkkeoya

Ibyeoriramyeon geunyang geunyeol noha jwo
Geojitdoen nunmul boyeodo inyeoni anigetji mwo

Tteonal sarameun tteonaganeun geoji mwo
Geurae geu yeope isseobwatja eonjengan geuraetgetji oh

Jigeum neo himdeuldaneun geon
Got saranghaetdan jeunggeoil ppuniya
Everybody knows you tried Everybody knows it's alright

You get some right, you get some wrong
Jogeum himdeureodo utneun nari olkkeoya
When you fall down, when you get up
Jogeum himdeureodo utneun nari wa, gyeolguk utneun nari olkkeoya

The past is the past is the past
Jinan gieogeun ije geuman It's the past
Oraen sigandongan maeil apeugiman haetdeon
The Past is the past is the past
Neoreul itge han naldeurin geor~

Everybody wins sometimes
Everybody knows you lose some

You get some right, you get some wrong
Jogeum himdeureodo utneun nari olkkeoya
When you fall down, when you get up
Jogeum himdeureodo utneun nari wa, gyeolguk utneun nari wa, gyeolguk utneun nari olkkeoya    === #Translation: Sometimes hit, sometimes miss, it’s always like that Just do it right tomorrow, it’s just a small mistake

Sometimes bottom, sometimes top, sometimes number 1
Getting 1st place, you can only go down

Without it, just live without it
It’s just greed you have before you win it oh

Your suffering now is a sign of your hard work
Everybody knows you tried
Everybody knows it’s alright

You get some right, you get some wrong
Although tiring there will be days to smile
When you fall down, when you get up
Although tiring, there will be days to smile, eventually a day to smile will come
If it’s separation, just let her go
She might show lying tears, maybe it wasn’t destiny
People who have to go, just go
Sure being next to them it might happen oh
Being tired right now
It’s just evidence of your love
Everybody knows you tried Everybody knows it’s alright

You get some right, you get some wrong

Although tiring there will be days to smile
When you fall down, when you get up
Although tiring, there will be days to smile, eventually a day to smile will come
The past is the past is the past
Previous memories
It’s the past

The long painful days
The Past is the past is the past
The days to forget you~

Everybody wins sometimes
Everybody knows you lose some

You get some right, you get some wrong
Although tiring there will be days to smile
When you fall down, when you get up
Although tiring there will be days to smile,
Eventually a day to smile will come
Eventually a day to smile will come -- credit: storyaboutagirl-chocolate  

An na ra su ma na ra

Lup dapat membakar objek karena memfokuskan cahaya matahari. Pengalaman hidup kita itu ibarat cahaya matahari tadi. Untuk mengarahkan hidup kita ke satu titik tujuan yang sebenarnya bias. Bias seperti cahaya matahari itu sendiri. Namun ketika banyak bias cahaya yang kita fokuskan, maka muncullah api kehidupan yang akan menjadi pelita di hidup kita. Pelita yang menerangkan jati dirimu. -Lingling-

Pernah membuka catatan lama di buku diari? atau mungkin celotehan di sosial media? Ketika bergerak mundur ternyata waktu bergerak begitu cepat meninggalkan cerita-cerita berbeda di tiap masanya. Begitu banyak cerita hingga tak semuanya tersimpan dengan jelas dalam memori yang terbatas. Cerita itu sebagian dari bias cahaya.

Aku bukan lagi lilin yang akan membakar dirinya untuk menerangi sekitarku. Aku mau menjadi lup.

Bagaimana seorang lilin berubah menjadi seorang lub? Tentu mungkin. Timbang menjadi lilin yang berdebu di sudut ruangan tanpa nyala api, bukankah berubah itu lebih mudah?

Lihatlah sekitarmu, apa yang dulu dibenci sekarang bisa jadi fanatik. Yang dulu kau kagumi sekarang rasanya biasa saja. Kekecewaan pun berganti kebahagiaan. Apa-apa yang berubah, luka-luka yang sembuh, dan hati-hati yang pincang bergerak bersamaan dengan waktu.

Takkan selamanya cahaya yang datang selalu terang, kadang hitam, kadang abu-abu. Bahkan di hari kelabumu, bisa saja cahaya datang dengan warna merah muda. Tak perlu susah payah menebaknya, cahaya itu akan datang kapan saja. Rahasia.

Saat cahaya itu hitam legam, hujan besar turun pada siang yang terik. Tak kuasa menolak. Bisa saja berlari atau memilih mati. Bertahan. Hanya itu yang kucoba lakukan.

Merubah bentuk.

Perlahan-lahan hingga menjadi lup yang mampu memfokuskan bias matahari.


Cheers,
Hani.